So I decided to get a Ph.D.

The doctoral journey is not something that is decided upon lightly. My decision definitely was not. I think it started when I was a young adult. I can remember the moment I had decided to become a doctor. It was definitely a different type than a Ph.D. I mean my first dream was to be an OBGYN. Yup... That's right - O.B.G.Y.N. My dream was focused on one thing, delivering babies... and then I found out EVERYTHING that an OBGYN actually does. Suddenly, I stopped telling my friends I was going to become a doctor. However, the dream didn't die.

My twin sister (She says she is the cute one looking at the camera, but whatevs.) and I were adopted by our grandparents at the age of seven, but we had been living with them long before that. Honestly, if I hadn't been adopted, my projection for being successful was low. The odds were stacked against me: my mother was nineteen, hadn't finished college, had a string of bad relationships that included physical abuse to her and to us. My dad, well, I don't have much to say that is positive about that individual. Needless to say, neither of them graduated college. They did graduate high school, however. My grandparents didn't graduate from college either, but they were different. They wanted better for us, and it was because of them that my twin and I pushed ourselves to the academic limits.

My grandpa was proud of me. I would bring home good grades, and he would tell people how proud he was of me. As a matter of fact, every restaurant we went to he would ask two things. 1 - Have you ever heard of the Gold Dust Twins? To this day, I have no idea who these people are. 2 - Did you know she is going to be a doctor? That is when he would point at me, and I would roll my eyes. The point that I failed to see in my teenage years was that this man believed in me. I didn't realize until much later that those embarrassing moments were some of the moments that would push me to succeed in my educational career.

I started out my undergraduate career not really knowing what to do. I pursued nursing, but after hearing of women who had to clean poop off of male genitalia, I decided that maybe the medical field was not for me. I moved to psychology, to creative writing, and then to family studies. It was at that point when I was about a year from graduating that my grandpa died. The ground underneath my feet slipped away and I could no longer tread water in the university setting. I left school. I worked full-time in retail, and I hated every minute. It wasn't until I responded to an advertisement to go back to work for the university I left, that I realized that I could do it. I no longer had one of the people in my life that knew I could do it, so I would have to carry that load. I decided to pursue education. I was going to be a teacher. I graduated from Northern Arizona University (NAU) "Summa Cum Laude, and I never looked back. I became a teacher.

I wasn't done though. I had to have more. I had to prove to myself and to those who thought I couldn't, that I could. So, I did. I got my master's degree in continuing education from NAU roughly two years after graduating with my bachelor's degree. I also got a divorce shortly after, so that hurt the ego a bit. Because I got a divorce, my income was cut in half. I had to put my dreams of pursuing any further education on the back burner. Instead, I focused on myself and my teaching craft. Always the constant planner and analyzer, I continued to keep my dream and to notice faults in the U.S. educational system. I knew these observations would prove useful in the future.

In 2014, I met my current fiancé. We will be married this March. He has a Pharm.D. His mother has a Ph.D. in English. Needless to say, my choice in partners made a definite improvement. My first husband, although super smart and gifted, lacked the desire to accomplish any educational goals. My current partner, however, wanted to see me reach mine. Honestly, I think it was his idea to help me start my journey toward a Ph.D. I struggled to decide if I wanted an Ed.D. or a Ph.D. I have come to realize that I have trouble keeping my mouth shut when it comes to education and when teachers fail to do their job. If you know me, this makes perfect sense. I turned my focus from becoming a principal to how I could improve education. I want to know why things aren't working and how they can be fixed. That does not fall in the realm of leadership, but in cognition and instruction. So I decided to get a Ph.D... in the philosophy in general psychology focusing on cognition and instruction.

Guess my grandpa is still with me, huh?